9/11

Since tomorrow is the anniversary of 9/11, I thought it might be good to get some of the thoughts I have about it out of my head and onto this blog.

On 9/11/2000, I saw the news of the first plane hitting the first tower, but at the time no one knew what was going on.  I dropped my son at daycare and drove to Boulder to work, listening to the news as it happened on the radio.  It was then that the second plane hit, and the first thought that went through my head was "holy shit, we're actually under attack here".  My first instinct was to turn around and go get my son, but I kept driving to work.  In hindsight, he was never in danger and it wasn't a big deal, but I still wonder if I did the right thing at the time before I knew the extent of what was going on.  At work, everyone in the office was huddled around a small TV in someone's cube, still watching as things unfolded.  Then the first tower fell, and everyone gasped.  And that's about all I remember, other than it was impossible to work that day. 

Bullies rank right at the top of my list of people that piss me off the most, and when the actions of bullies take thousands of completely innocent lives and cause the physical and emotional destruction that was caused that day, it brings about feelings that are probably hatred, but it pains me to even use that word to describe other humans.  But I was right there mentally with so many other Americans just hoping we would find these bastards and get our revenge.  The sheer magnitude of what they did goes so far beyond anything I could ever comprehend, and when I think about it that way, it makes me pessimistic that we'll ever truly be able to have peace with "those people". 

And when I start thinking in terms of "those people", the next thought that crosses my mind is...how many completely innocent Muslims are here, and how can they possibly handle the judging and stereotyping and bigotry that has been thrust upon them through no fault of their own?  I am the first to admit I am very ignorant about Islam and what it teaches other than from things I've seen in the media.  I've heard so many mocking calls of Islam as the "religion of peace", and again, I admit that I often get skeptical about that religion in general, which is completely unfair, but I'm a white Christian American and I'm human.  I know more about the history of Christianity, and from that aspect, I can see why the middle east is biased against it (in general).  I know that the Christianity that I believe in is not the violent religion that it once was or is made out to be by many non-Christians, and I imagine that there are Muslims who know the same about their religion of choice.  Again, I'm just afraid there are too many dumb, blind people in this world on both sides of the equation to truly ever allow everyone to live together peacefully.  I hope I'm wrong.  Along those same lines of thought, I wonder if our country, as radically divided as it is right now, would pull together again like it did after the attacks if, God forbid, we were ever to be attacked again. 

Every so often, particularly around this time of year, I find some 9/11 videos on youtube and relive it again.  I still get goosebumps when I hear the 911 calls of people in the towers, then hear their last screams as the tower they are in collapses and they plummet to earth.  I can't imagine how that would have felt.  Or to see the videos from the lobbies, and hearing the loud crashes of people who just jumped out of the 100th story of a building because it was the BETTER choice than staying up there.  Again, completely beyond my comprehension.  Or seeing the firefighters marching onto the scene dutifully, and knowing that a good number of them would never return.  It makes my blood boil when I see these things, and maybe it isn't healthy, but it helps remind me of what some people are capable of. 

I'm so grateful that we haven't had another attack like that here ever since.  The measures put in place after the attacks, which many would consider encroaching on civil liberties, have been just fine in my book.  There are probably better, more efficient ways to do things, but so far it seems to have worked.  If TSA agents want to stare in awe at my pixelated nether regions (maybe they were just laughing), or cop a feel in the name of safety, then have at it.  The vast majority are just doing their job, and although it may not be the popular opinion, I'm fine jumping through a few hoops if it means there may be a better chance of the plane making it to my destination unharmed.

Sorry for such a downer post, but this time of year is about reflection on (hopefully) the biggest tragedy I'll ever witness in my lifetime.  Here's to all the heroes of that day, and here's hoping this country will never need that degree of heroics ever again.