My son and Tae Kwon Do

My son, daughter and I currently are studying Tae Kwon Do at Alpha Martial Arts here in Longmont.  Yesterday, my son tested for his orange belt (which is the 5th of about 15 belts at this school on the way to black belt).  Anyone who knows Aaron knows that he can be a very, let's just say "challenging", kid to deal with.  Yes, yes, I know, "aren't all kids at that age challenging to deal with?"  Sure they are, but Aaron presents some challenges that are a little beyond your typical 11 year old, as anyone with a child who has an autism spectrum disorder can attest to.  He tends to either lose focus on things he is supposed to be doing, or is hyper focused on things like television or video games.  He has trouble handling situations that don't go the way he wants them to or the way he thinks they should (and by "trouble handling", I'm literally talking throw yourself on the floor, kick and scream at the top of your lungs, full out tantrums.  Last week's lasted 40 minutes at school I was told).  If it doesn't involve one of a couple of major interests that he has, he tends not to spend much time trying to be good at it.

Of course, it could be a lot worse, and I have to remind myself of that when I get a phone call from the school in which I hear his screaming in stereo through the handset and from the school itself which is two blocks away.  At least he can function on his own.  And when he wants to be, he is one of the most polite kids I know.  Needless to say, when he did his TKD testing yesterday, I wasn't expecting too much.  TKD is not an area of interest that he dwells on.  He says he likes it, and it is usually no problem getting him to go to classes, but a lot of times I think he just goes through the motions.  But again, it could be worse...at least he is here willingly.  He is a little clumsy and lanky, and his technique is not terribly crisp yet (and since he is just a high yellow belt, I don't expect it to be).    But when he went through his testing, he shined.  He was focused.  And whenever he kicked or punched, the yell or "kiyap" that came out his mouth was quite simply awesome.

I think every parent says they are proud of their kid when they do some activity or sport, and of course I am too, but I struggle sometimes to see things he does as really, TRULY great.  Yes, I feel guilty for feeling this way, and I try not to let it effect my parenting decisions and actions with him, but I'm also a realist, and although of course I love my son and am proud of what he does, he truly is just not that athletic, and it shows when he does physical activity.  So when I can find something physical that he does that makes ME go "wow!", that's a huge deal.  And this weekend, I said wow many times. 

I think one of the more difficult aspects of martial arts is channeling your energy, and in TKD, one way we do that is by kiyapping.  You might be surprised just how hard it is for people, especially adults, to learn to actually just let go and kiyap from their core to allow themselves to really channel that strength and energy when they strike.  Many people sound like they are forcing it (if they do it at all)...after all, most of us find it uncomfortable to yell loudly on purpose, particularly in a room full of people.  Aaron is not one of those people however.  He truly has one of the best kiyaps I've heard from anyone in TKD.  He doesn't sound like he is just trying to scream, like younger kids tend to do.  And it obviously is coming from deep in his belly.  He sounds powerful.  He sounds focused.  Truly a thing of beauty, and I don't think I'm just being a biased parent.

Martial arts is a huge part of my life, and I'm glad my kids are doing it with me.  And I'm not just proud of how Aaron did in his testing, but I was truly impressed and got several compliments on how he did.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that he is unique and has areas in which he excels that might not be so obvious.  I think I'm getting better at realizing that and not getting so frustrated with him, but I know I've got a ways to go yet before I'm where I think I should be.  So this post is going to be tonight's reminder that, although there are things in my life I wish would be different sometimes, I can't argue that overall things are pretty good right now.  And to Aaron:  Good job, buddy!