Meaningful Songs

I've been in a strange mood tonight, and I've spent much of the evening browsing songs to use in my kickboxing classes.  Certain music has always invoked exceptionally strong reactions in me that span the range of emotions (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way).  A few weeks ago I was searching for a song from a group I'm very fond of, VNV Nation.  The first song of theirs I ever heard was called "Illusion", and the video I found was not made specifically for the song, but it matched up with the message of the song completely perfectly, and it was one of those profoundly moving songs I spoke of earlier.  I've been hooked on VNV Nation ever since. 

The song I was looking for also had a video with it that wasn't made specifically for the song, but again, the message of the song and the message of the video are just overwhelming.  It is called "From My Hands", and the message of the song is about moving on after a loss.   Not that I'm dwelling on any major losses in my life right now, but I found all kinds of parallels with situations I've experienced at various times in my life. 

As some of you around my neck of the woods might have heard, a deputy recently drowned while saving a young girl from a river in Wyoming.  I probably would have missed the story completely, but it just so happened that a friend of mine had just photographed his wedding a few weeks ago, and she posted on facebook the story that he was missing, a link to a "prayers for Bryan" group, and ultimately, the story that his body had been found.  She blogged about her experience at that wedding, and she wrote some pretty amazing things about Bryan.  It was obvious that he made an impact on her life in just the relatively short time that she had known him, and I know his death has hit her hard.  Just reading through the prayer page, it is also obvious that he was a very well liked individual and a great man who will be missed terribly.  And I can't even begin to imagine what his much too prematurely widowed wife is going through right now. 

This song made me think of this person I never knew, and I would imagine a lot of people can relate to it.  I don't personally know anyone who is a friend of his family except for my photographer friend, and I hope she can find peace as she finishes up their wedding album. 

"The Race"

(Yep, it's wordy...a lot on my mind today if you choose to continue reading) :)

Anyone with a Facebook account could tell that today was the Redline 13.1 half marathon here in Longmont.  This was the first half marathon I've ever run (actually the first road race I've run in probably 20 years).  I had only been training for it since April, back when running one mile was one of my least favorite things in the world to do.  But I got used to running 3 or 4 mornings a week and gradually built up my runs to where I had run 12 miles a couple of times before the race today, and I felt ready to go by the time today's race rolled around. 

Woke up at 4:30 this morning, after a not nearly deep enough 6 hours or so of sleep.  Picked up the sitter at 5:00, told her she could crash and then Kathy and I headed to the finish line to catch a bus to the start.  Apparently the buses "got lost", so we were about 20 mins late leaving, then there was a nice line at the porta potties at the starting line, but the race was still only about 20 mins late starting (6:50 vs. 6:30).  We ran with several other people with Alpha connections - John and Ashley Bradley, Erika James, Amber Burtis, Paul Marcotte, Sid Payne, and Leah Davis.  In all, there were 239 people signed up, and it was a gorgeous (although a little warm) morning for a run. 

The race started around Lake Macintosh.  The path was pretty narrow for 239 people, so there was some very slow going for the first quarter mile or so, but that was probably good to help slowly ease into the run without letting the adrenaline get the best of us.  Eventually we all spread out a bit, and Ashley and I ran together for awhile.  About a dozen hot air balloons had launched south of the city, and the nearly full moon was clearly visible against the mountains.  The first two miles, I had a huge smile on my face, was running at about a 9:30 pace and felt very, very good. 

After a couple of miles, we turned off the lake path and onto the road.  It wasn't long until I saw Becca's kindergarten teacher, Julie Kruetner, on the route with her cow bell cheering us on.  Again, huge smile on my face, and Ashley and I were maintaining about a 9:30 pace.  At this point, Ashley questioned our speed and if we were taking it out too fast, and I thought probably but I was feeling very relaxed and thought we could maintain that pace.  About 2.5 more miles up Airport Rd, then we turned east onto the greenway that would take us through town to the finish at Sandstone Ranch.  Things were still feeling good here.

After we turned onto the greenway, I got a sip of water from the water station, and took a packet of goo.  Next time, I'll actually follow the directions and take the goo BEFORE I get the water, as I spent the next mile or so trying to clear it out of my throat and spitting every 50 feet or so.  A mile up the trail and we were at Golden Ponds, which finally provided a little shade.  I was very familiar with the route at this point, as I'd run it to and from Alpha (about 2.5 miles farther) many times.  At this point, I was starting to get concerned about the pace and tried to slow down a little bit.  We did slightly, but still were pacing around 9:40 up through the water station at Alpha which was about 8 miles into the race.

Alpha had a great group of people there to cheer us on and give us drinks.  I think they had the most people manning the stations of any other on the course, and it was good to see some more familiar faces along the way.  Alpha has always been a very supportive "family", and today was no exception.

Shortly after leaving Alpha, the course started to move into a more open area on the long stretch up to the finish.  It was at this point that I started to feel a little tired and my pace dropped to around 10:00 avg.  I still had the ability to run, I was just really starting to feel it.  It was about this time where we (Ashley was still running with me) saw Kathy up ahead walking.  She has not run a half marathon in several years, and tends to get overheated quickly, and when she started to feel that hit her, she did the smart thing and backed down.  Another Alpha friend, Leah Davis, had been running behind Ashley and me for a little while, and about 10 miles in, Ashley pushed ahead to catch up with Kathy and run with her, and Leah ran with me for a bit.  Ashley took off from there and eventually finished a great run, coming in at just under 10:00 miles average for the whole race.

At mile 10, I started to get really concerned.  My legs were starting to get rubbery to the point of not working very well.  Leah encouraged me by saying we only had a 5K left to go, and since she and I had run 12 miles together just a few weeks ago, a 5K should not be so bad.  And I kept reminding myself of that over and over again.  My pace dropped considerably to 11:00, and Leah pressed on ahead of me, and she would also go on to finish a very good race. 

Around mile 11 I caught up to Kathy, who was walking a bit, then running, then walking, then running.  We passed each other several times in the last couple of miles this way, and although I continued running, I was not running much faster than she was walking.  I started to get panicked at about 11.5 miles, knowing that I had another 1.6 miles to go.  Earlier in the week, this was cake and I knew it would be over shortly.  But at this point, my legs were about done, and although 1.6 is a small percentage of 13.1, it is still not a trivial run, especially for a sprint swimmer.  Kathy encouraged me every time we passed each other, and I was lucky to manage a grunt in response. 

At mile 12, I was in bad shape.  My pace at this point was over 12 mins/mile, and I was literally going one step at a time.  On my last long run with Leah, we finished up with a really bad hill, and I was encouraging her to take smaller steps, one at a time, and you'll get to the top soon.  I kept telling myself today that I needed to walk the walk right now, and it was time for some serious head games.  I had a goal of getting under 10:00 miles, but the way I'd been running lately, I thought 9:45s were not out of the question.  Past mile 12, my goal had reverted back to my initial goal from April....finish it without walking.  One step at a time, seeming to barely move with each step now, but I was going to do this.

I finally got to the bridge over the river that lead to the finish at Sandstone.  The only problem was that the finish was up a STEEP hill to an upper parking lot for the last .2 miles or so.  I knew this was going to be a challenge when I first saw the map of the course, but I literally had nothing left by the time I got to this part.  I crossed the bridge and hit the first upslope and managed to continue running, but I knew I was in trouble.  The final push was on me now, and I got about 10 steps up the hill before my legs stopped working.  At the end of all of my kickboxing classes, we do one minute of pushups, with the goal being to go until failure, where your arms just can't lift anymore.  My legs hit this point on that hill, and I had to walk.  I uttered a few choice words under my breath, then started to walk with exaggerated arms and strides as long as I could make them.  Sadly, I was probably going just as fast as I had been "running" for the last couple of miles.  But on the hill, Kathy and I met up again, and we were able to run the last few hundred feet through the finish.  The announcer called out "and here come the Lawrences in together now!"  Never in a million years would I have ever expected to hear those words being said.  Although I didn't get to do any training runs with Kathy (she usually ran first, then I'd run after her so one of us could be home with the kids at all times.  Plus, she is just a faster runner than I am, and I would have held her back), I loved being able to finish my goal race running in with her.   My final time was 2:14:11 (10:14 pace), and I was the 66th male of 88.  I didn't quite make my goal of 10:00 miles, and I had to walk for a few hundred feet, but I completed the race, and that is pretty huge for me, the sprinter swimmer.

Training for this was an exceptionally positive thing for me.  Everyone encouraged everyone else.  Many others who didn't race today had also been posting their runs on facebook, and that just made the support group even stronger.  I've never been a runner, and never had any desire to try it.  But for almost 3 months, I actually looked forward to morning training runs of 3, 4 and 5 miles.  I started to see trends in my times, and they trended consistently downward.  I loved coming home after my run and comparing notes and times with Kathy...it really brought us closer together.

I mentioned several other Alpha students ran today, and all of them have their own stories.  Erika James just took up running about 5 months ago, and has been a fitness machine for the past year.  She finished her first half marathon today, which impresses me beyond words.  Amber Burtis badly sprained her ankle a couple months ago, but she's a tough chica and was able to start training again and competed.  She also finished her first half marathon today.  Paul Marcotte just lost his mom in a car accident a few weeks ago and has been working through all the emotions and logistics that go with that, training when he could around visits to his dad in the hospital and preparing for a funeral.  He finished his first half marathon today.  Sid Payne is a boxer who I've had the (mis?)fortune of sparring numerous times at Alpha (I kid...he's tough as nails and a lot of fun to spar).  He has run at least one half marathon before (I think more), and was the perfect support person for Erika and Amber today to help pull them through their races.  Leah Davis is one of my kickboxing students, married to an Olympic caliber sprinter, but has never run a half marathon before.  I did a great 12 mile run with her a few weeks ago, and today she finished her first half marathon.  John Bradley is a seasoned runner with numerous halves and full marathons under his belt.  He was perfect as the resident running expert to give training advice and encouragement along the way.  Ashley Bradley was my main training partner along the way.  I think it is difficult to find two people that match well to each other in running, but we matched up very well and always tended to push each other on our training runs.  She had been having pretty bad knee and hip issues lately, but today she completed her first half marathon and did it in very quick fashion.  And then my wife Kathy, who was a cross country runner and has a 15 miler under her belt, but has had physical issues that she thought would prevent her from ever competing again.  She has a ton of natural talent and has been training steadily along with me for this race.  The day was very warm, and she was getting overheated and had to walk some of the way, but she overcame her limitations and completed her race today with me. 

I have mixed feelings about the race being over.  I am relieved that I've gotten through it finally, but I really liked having a goal to train for and such a great group of people to be training with me at the same time.  I'm planning to take off a couple of weeks, and then we'll see where it goes from there.  I reaffirmed today that I am not a distance runner, and I have no desire to try a full marathon.  I would train for this half again because I think it was organized very well and I like the course and that it was local, but I'm not looking to compete in any more of these just for fun.  The running has always kept me from doing triathlons, but I don't fear a 5k or even a 10k anymore, and I think I may start looking to compete in tri's sometime down the road.  But the feeling I had immediately after the race, and while doing absolutely nothing with friends this afternoon...that is what I was looking forward to the most, and it has all been worth every minute of it.

It is Time

The half marathon is just a day away now.  In about 2 1/2 months of training, I've run about 175 miles, dropped over a minute off of my 3 mile pace, and lost about 8 lbs.  I've watched many good friends train along with me and post about their highs and lows, and I've loved the camaraderie of this group of runners.  I've worked through injuries and watched others do the same.  I have gained confidence in my ability to simply complete a running race for a distance I never dreamed (nor ever had a desire) of doing.  And now, I feel ready.  I will be glad when it is over, but the journey here has been unforgettable and extremely positive.

At the risk of forgetting someone, I want to wish best of luck to the Alpha crew this weekend....Kathy, Ashley, John, Erika, Leah, Paul, Sid, and Amber.  I've loved watching everyone progress and actually getting to run with many of you.  Now let's go get it!!!

The N-Word

People who know me know that I have a fascination with other cultures, and race relations have always intrigued me.  Along those lines, I found this speech online that had me rolling and made some very good points.  I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I did. 

Speech, part 1

Speech, part 2